I kind of can't help that I'm so prone to gendering. I think it's become sort of automatic for most people. It's what we've been taught and what we've grown up with. I know many have had the experience of being told that they are not acting like their gender. For me, my mom would often tell me "That's unladylike, stop it" when I was doing something she perceived as "tomboyish". In the Lorber piece, she refers to gender as a "social instution". This social institution is quite oppressive in itself. Lorber writes:
What is the keyword throughout this particular idea? Expected. Expectations can somewhat be overbearing. As a woman, some classic expectations include acting feminine, dressing in feminine ways, and being submissive counterparts to men. I can feel the expectations bearing down on me. There's pressure coming not only from society, but there's pressure coming from myself too. Not being able to keep to the expectations somewhat makes me feel awkward at times, like I'm doing something wrong. After reading that particular quote from Lorber's piece, I thought this poem I read in English class:"In social interaction throughout their lives, individuals learn what is expected, see what is expected, act and react in expected ways, and thus simultaneously construct and maintain the gender order." (pg. 25)
Barbie DollThe poem reminds me of some of the ideas that Lorber presents in "The Social Construction of Gender". The poem's beginnings show how the little girl is taught gender. She is presented with all these effeminate things like stoves and irons at a young age. Additionally, she's advised to act in certain ways (coy, hearty). Socially, her interactions mold her into the young woman she is, feminine in her ways, but the poem kind of brings out the question-- is it all too much? She's become, as the title of the poem states, like a barbie doll, and eventually the poem ends in a sort of grave way. Yes, gender roles are changing, but does this social construction of gender still exert too much expectation?
by Marge Piercy
This girlchild was born as usual
and presented dolls that did pee-pee
and miniature GE stoves and irons
and wee lipsticks the color of cherry candy.
Then in the magic of puberty, a classmate said:
You have a great big nose and fat legs.
She was healthy, tested intelligent,
possessed strong arms and back,
abundant sexual drive and manual dexterity.
She went to and fro apologizing.
Everyone saw a fat nose on thick legs.
She was advised to play coy,
exhorted to come on hearty,
exercise, diet, smile and wheedle.
Her good nature wore out
like a fan belt.
So she cut off her nose and her legs
and offered them up.
In the casket displayed on satin she lay
with the undertaker's cosmetics painted on,
a turned-up putty nose,
dressed in a pink and white nightie.
Doesn't she look pretty? everyone said.
Consummation at last.
To every woman a happy ending.
Hi!
ReplyDeleteI would like to give some feedback on this post. I'll use a quote from the text to give me an anchor to refer to, and then, move from there:
"but the poem kind of brings out the question-- is it all too much? She's become, as the title of the poem states, like a barbie doll, and eventually the poem ends in a sort of grave way."
I believe that most of what we write is autobiography. Even when we constrain our voices--we are still 'doing' autobiography. In that way, I feel the insights you've expressed in this post are noteworthy, and reflective of the 'writing and being' process that is generative and produces important moments of 'aha!'--the epiphany.
You said what many of us feel and think, though not many admit--we all do gender, constantly. Without 'thinking' about it, we just fall into the gender roles which we've been socialized to 'be.' Which leads me to ask ... why are 'roles' important to organizing human societies--from the family, to extended family, to clans, to bands, to tribes, to religious groups, to nations? HOw are gender roles formed and selected? By whom? Is gender critical for the survival of the family? the religious group? the nation? How do alternative gender roles 'fit' the survival of groups? and in what contexts? Your post raised alot of questions for me, and I hope that others who read this will join in the discussion.
I appreciated having the poem to think through along with your insights because that added a different text and dimension through which to understand the positions and claims you are taking here. That was a productive element which helped me to engage your perspective a bit more. There is quite alot of debate about 'Barbie'-ing of femininity in U.S. culture, and the diminuization of female social, economic and political power as a backlash against females in general--in U.S. culture. Although there is a mass consumption idea that females have 'gained' 'power', I wonder... to what degree? Is there a corollary between increasing violent crime rates targetting females (from infants to elderly women) in general, in U.S. culture, and a general sense of apathy and resistance of patriarchal leaders (political, religious, economic) against women's (Black, Native American, Mexican-American/Latina, Asian, White, poor, working class, immigrant) progress (i.e. healthcare, education, economic stability, reproductive choices, ...)????
Good luck in working through the concerns which you've raised. --Margo Tamez
Gendering really is part of society; part of our up bringing, and it is inevitable to run into situations that classify how you should act or what people expect from you according to your gender.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your blog, I thought of myself in high school. My sophomore year in high school I decided to join judo. A lot people thought I wouldn't last a week because I looked so frail at 106 lbs and I looked too “girly.” I would feel nervous everyday I went to practice. I was afraid I would make myself look like a fool, but despite what people said and despite how uncomfortable I felt, I kept going to practice. Eventually I proved them wrong and they became my second family.
Although everyone saw me as frail and too girly, I thought I was very “tomboyish” because I signed up for judo. I felt the need to balance my girly and tomboyish sides. I felt like I needed to dress up more; to dress more feminine, and I did. I wore skirts more often, I actually did my hair, and even accessorized. This is was “girly” phase I guess. Later on I realized that it didn’t matter if I was too girly or tomboyish, all the mattered was who I was as a person.
I was upset when my teammates called me frail and girly, but I was being hypocritical for labeling judo as tomboyish. I have never noticed how hypocritical I was until I really thought about it. It’s surprising to see how you gender things without being conscious of it. It is easy to believe we shouldn’t gender, but it is hard to break the habit that is engrained in your life because it comes so naturally in your unconsciousness, and since its in your unconsciousness you cannot catch yourself unless you analyze yourself. People do not have the time or energy to constantly analyze themselves. That is why we need to call each other out and keep each other in check to break these expectations and labels. We cannot do it alone.
Thanks for breaking my writers block. I really liked the poem you incorporated with your reading response. It makes your point come across stronger.
This response is great! I truly can identify with what you are saying about that odd pressure that if you are not acting a certain way as a female, as a woman, in society that it is almost inherently awkward, because as a woman you are gendered to act a certain way, with those certain expectations.
ReplyDeleteThe word "expectations" is a great noun to add to the gender roles in society. I am researching the basis, foundation, and influence of the cultural phenomenon of Barbie, and that poem truly contributes to so many of the stereotypes that Barbie has created and has supported so many of those "expectations" and social norms as a woman in today's society.
The question of will gendering in society ever truly change? I don't believe so. No matter how flexible, or un-bias we become as a culture, there will always be expectations of what is feminine, of what is masculine, of what gender is- because without cultural expectations, we would truly live in a genderless society, and would that even be a functioning society?