"The Social Construction of Gender" (WL 24-27)

In the article "The Social Construction of Gender" (WL 24-47), Lorber presents to us the notion that gender is so intertwined in everything we do that we sometimes don't even catch ourselves in the act of "gendering". Gendering is deeply-rooted into our lives, not through genes, but through social interaction. Yes, I admit that I participate in gendering, whether I'm aware of it at the time or not. The occasional baby shower shopping or even birthday gift shopping are just a few of the examples of my personal experiences with gendering. Usually, I'd be on the look out for items that have certain gender qualities to it (like blue for boys, pink for girls).

I kind of can't help that I'm so prone to gendering. I think it's become sort of automatic for most people. It's what we've been taught and what we've grown up with. I know many have had the experience of being told that they are not acting like their gender. For me, my mom would often tell me "That's unladylike, stop it" when I was doing something she perceived as "tomboyish". In the Lorber piece, she refers to gender as a "social instution". This social institution is quite oppressive in itself. Lorber writes:

"In social interaction throughout their lives, individuals learn what is expected, see what is expected, act and react in expected ways, and thus simultaneously construct and maintain the gender order." (pg. 25)

What is the keyword throughout this particular idea? Expected. Expectations can somewhat be overbearing. As a woman, some classic expectations include acting feminine, dressing in feminine ways, and being submissive counterparts to men. I can feel the expectations bearing down on me. There's pressure coming not only from society, but there's pressure coming from myself too. Not being able to keep to the expectations somewhat makes me feel awkward at times, like I'm doing something wrong. After reading that particular quote from Lorber's piece, I thought this poem I read in English class:

Barbie Doll
by Marge Piercy

This girlchild was born as usual
and presented dolls that did pee-pee
and miniature GE stoves and irons
and wee lipsticks the color of cherry candy.
Then in the magic of puberty, a classmate said:
You have a great big nose and fat legs.

She was healthy, tested intelligent,
possessed strong arms and back,
abundant sexual drive and manual dexterity.
She went to and fro apologizing.
Everyone saw a fat nose on thick legs.

She was advised to play coy,
exhorted to come on hearty,
exercise, diet, smile and wheedle.
Her good nature wore out
like a fan belt.
So she cut off her nose and her legs
and offered them up.

In the casket displayed on satin she lay
with the undertaker's cosmetics painted on,
a turned-up putty nose,
dressed in a pink and white nightie.
Doesn't she look pretty? everyone said.
Consummation at last.
To every woman a happy ending.

The poem reminds me of some of the ideas that Lorber presents in "The Social Construction of Gender". The poem's beginnings show how the little girl is taught gender. She is presented with all these effeminate things like stoves and irons at a young age. Additionally, she's advised to act in certain ways (coy, hearty). Socially, her interactions mold her into the young woman she is, feminine in her ways, but the poem kind of brings out the question-- is it all too much? She's become, as the title of the poem states, like a barbie doll, and eventually the poem ends in a sort of grave way. Yes, gender roles are changing, but does this social construction of gender still exert too much expectation?